When I make you laugh All I hear is: 'That! That! That! That's one for the notepad - write it down while it's fresh in your head!' So now I've got pages and pages and pages of things I barely even remember saying. No clues and no context; I just wrote it so I wouldn't forget Was I writing a screenplay, or was I writing a song? It was supposed to be easy, but it'll take me so long to get to the start And all the stray dogs and the alley cats All the promised lands and pogo rats All the concepts that I had down pat mean nothing to me now And I could play piano, pluck that harp I could blow my horn 'til it burst my heart But the E G B G E F# means nothing to me now That's what hits my head That's what my brain says That's why I'm so scared of a good idea One day I'll sit down One day I'll stop messing 'round And work it all out And make up for all the lost ground But 'til then, I'l keep scribbling away And the list hardly fits in the book nowadays And I can't find the switch or the button that turns off my brain Was I writing a novel, or was I writing a joke? All the emotions and feelings that I was gonna evoke have slipped right off the page And all the stray dogs and the alley cats All the promised lands and pogo rats All the concepts that I had down pat mean nothing to me now And I could play piano, pluck that harp I could blow my horn 'til it burst my heart But the E G B G E F# means nothing to me now When I make you laugh All I hear is: 'That! That! That! That's one for the notepad - write it down while it's fresh in your head!' So now I've got pages and pages and pages of things I barely even remember saying. No clues and no context; I just wrote it so I wouldn't forget.

When will it happen? I think it already has I wanted streamers I wanted all of that jazz I thought a man was the size of a pylon I thought a man was a god on the earth I thought that men had some secret society I thought becoming a man was like a big rebirth I thought a heavenly light would shine down me And destroy all the things that I used to be I thought a lot of things I counted down to zero, expecting an end But all I got was a thick black line in front of the time that I had left I thought a man was the size of a temple I thought a man was always covered in hair I thought a man would know something I didn't Like when to sympathise and how not to care I thought a heavenly light would shine down me And destroy all the things that I used to be I thought it would round off my corners and burn off my bad bits Round off my corners and burn off my bad bits Round off my corners and burn off my bad bits Round off my corners and burn off my bad bits I thought a man was the size of a planet I thought a man could overcome any foe I thought a man could make something from nothing I thought a man always knew where to go I thought a heavenly light would shine down me And destroy all the things that I used to be

I'm still a sassy little something, but the sass is kinda slurred You see, my brain can do the thinking but my mouth can't do the words But I'm still playing this guitar as gently as I can And if I wanted to, I'd turn you to a shipwreck of a man If you're listening, take a drink And if you're not, take two I hear it's easier to listen with that stuff inside of you Everything is awesome if you get into the spirits You try to keep your distance, you're only gonna kill it I'm still slipping down the slope There was a time when I was dry And oh-so-high-and-dry above the other drinky-drunky guys But I haven't been the same since I became the sort to say: 'If you're not playing the real drinking game, you might as well not play!' So if you're drunk then take a drink And if you're not, take two You must collect on all the promises this weekend made to you Everything is awesome if you get into the spirits You try to keep your distance, you're only gonna kill it stone dead I'm still a walking, talking, bleeding, breathing, eating fucking encyclopedia just like I always was So if you've got any questions, fire away and I will answer Though I'm drunker than a skunk, I'll reel it off like I was sober So if you're impressed then take a drink And if you're not, fuck you I'm just trying to make a name by showing off and acting cool by swearing everything is awesome if you get into the spirits You try to keep your distance, you're only gonna kill it stone dead

I'm going to act like a big, bad, confident man And I'm going to pack in just as many words as I can And I'll scream them 'til my throat is raw, my lungs have burst And I've died for a song Singing sounds best when you sing like you're going to expire If you want to see tears, better sing like your hair is on fire Wallop your audience right in the gut The one thing that counts is how deep you cut It doesn't matter if you're out of tune when you howl like a damn hamadryas baboon So I'm going to act like a big, bad, confident man And I'm going to pack in just as many words as I can And I'll scream them 'til my throat is raw and my lungs have burst And I've died for a song Burst lungs Burst lungs Wallop your audience right in the gut The one thing that counts is how deep you cut It doesn't matter if you're out of tune when you howl like a damn hamadryas baboon So I'm going to act like a big, bad, confident man And I'm going to pack in just as many words as I can And I'll scream them 'til my throat is raw and my lungs have burst And I've died for a song